Before starting this unknown journey, I would like to comb what I have in my mind right now.

I still remember that two years ago when I was writing a script for my play, I was doing research by randomly asking people: When would you feel that you are happy? Once i asked a security guard in a Museum, and then he told me: when I’m the only person in the world. I didn’t expect this answer, and I actually couldn’t really understand what he meant by saying that. After making a couple of pieces discussing relationships between individuals and society, this answer came to my mind again. If I were the only person in the world, many things wouldn’t be important or have meanings anymore. I wouldn’t need language. I wouldn’t need my name. Do I still need to figure out my identity?

Living in a society, we are finding the answer of who we are by following those existing labels, standards, and definitions. Describing oneself with existing words shape a individual out from chaos. Human being is a definition only existing under the context of society, and we are all leaning to be a human being step by step. We learned one thing before experiencing it. Are we doing everything as a imitation to the existing model?

I remember last semester, in my Drawing for Thinking and Making class, our professor asked as to make a container for a specific object. One student made a suitcase for a spoon that he didn’t know if it has been made yet. He said that maybe one day he would find the spoon that fits perfectly in the container. The common procedure is flipped here. The container became a casting mode.

Wait! Are we water??????? We only have shapes/ forms when we are in a container, otherwise we will just be shapeless and inseparable from others.

“For the artists, the dilemma seems obvious: risk rejection by exploring new worlds, or court acceptance by following well-explored paths. Needless to say, the latter strategy is the overwhelming drug of choice where acceptance is the primary goal. Make work that looks like art, and acceptance is automatic…Most of what we inherit is so clearly correct it goes unseen. It fits the world seamlessly. But despite its richness and variability, the well-defined world we inherit doesn’t quite fit each one of us, individually. Most of us spend most of our time in other people’s worlds— working at predetermined jobs, relaxing to pre-packaged entertainment—and no matter how benign this ready-made world may be, there will always be times when something is missing or doesn’t quite ring true. And so you make your place in the world by making part of it—by contributing some new part of the set. And surely one of the most astonishing rewards of artmaking comes when people make time to visit the world you have created. Some, indeed, may even purchase a piece of your world to carry back and adopt as their own. Each new piece of your art enlarges our reality. The world is not yet done.”— Art & Fear

Fraught Times: For Eleven Months of the Year it’s an Artwork and in December it’s Christmas (July), 2017. By Philippe Parreno. 

As this quote says from the book Art & Fear, it is mostly talking about artmaking, but for me, more importantly, it addresses the theme that I’ve been interested for a long time—this ready-made world. Containers have been made before we born. 

Living in a ready-made container offers a sense of security but it also can bring restrictions. My interest in the pursuit to the sense of security and certainty leads me to the culture of S&M(Sadism & Masochism), especially the submissive one—the pleasure and ease from being controlled. But since S&M is an activity of two( well, at least two), when I’m talking about one side, inevitably, I need to also look at the opposite. Therefore, I would start this journey with two storylines: certainty and uncertainty. At the same time, I would also spend sometime on talking about my relationship with my art. (I will keep updating those three sections.)

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